This account is shared with the consent of the policyholder, who asked that we not use her name, her address or her tone of voice. The claim is numbered 40211, and is known in the office simply as “the dish”.
The report
On a Thursday afternoon, a crystal candy dish sat on a sideboard in a home in a quiet street. The dish was a family heirloom, inherited from an aunt who had never liked it. It had been on the sideboard for nineteen years, and had acquired a certain dignity.
At 4:10 PM, according to the policyholder, there was a “small noise”. At 4:11 PM, there was a “slightly larger noise”. At 4:12 PM there was no noise at all, which the policyholder described as “the worst one”.
The investigation
Our adjuster, a grey cat called Toes McGraw, arrived the next morning. She conducted a thorough walk through of the room, beginning with the sideboard and ending with a nap. Her notes include the following observations.
- The sideboard was in good condition and level to within a whisker
- The dish was no longer on it
- Nine large fragments and an unknown number of small ones were found on the carpet
- A single cat, name withheld, was found sitting in a patch of afternoon sun, looking fine
The interview
Toes interviewed the household cat for twenty minutes. The cat answered every question with a long blink. When asked whether it had been near the sideboard, it blinked. When asked whether it had touched the dish, it blinked again. When asked whether it felt remorse, it turned and walked away, which Toes recorded as “inconclusive but dignified”.
The ruling
After careful review the claim was approved at 60 percent. The reduction reflected the fact that candy dishes are, by nature, risk assets, and that the policyholder had placed the dish “within paw range”. She was also fined a small amount for the phrase “I always knew this would happen”, which our rules classify as hindsight.
Aftermath
The policyholder used her payout to purchase a replacement dish, which she placed on a high shelf. The cat observed this from the floor with great calm, and then got on the sideboard. Our office has not heard from the household since, which we take as a compliment.
Lessons for the industry
Claim 40211 has been used in training by our department ever since. It demonstrates three principles. First, an heirloom is only as safe as its shelf. Second, cats do not provide testimony, but they do provide atmosphere. Third, an adjuster who naps in the sun after an interview is not neglecting her duty, but reflecting on it.
Correspondence
Following the ruling, the policyholder wrote to the company. Her letter ran to four pages and contained the phrase “with respect” eleven times, none of which we believed. Our reply consisted of a single sentence: “Thank you for your letter; the cat has been informed.” She did not write again, and a card from the cat arrived at Christmas.
Statistics
Of the 212 claims involving crystal that we received that year, 209 were approved in part, two were declined and one was withdrawn when the dish was found, whole, behind the radiator. The householder was disappointed, and said so, and the cat was seen smiling.
A note on the Thursday
We often receive questions about why so many claims occur on a Thursday. The honest answer is that Thursday is a day on which nothing is expected, which is the cat’s favourite kind of day. The office is considering a policy of Thursday vigilance, which would involve staying awake.
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