Purrfect Drop Insurance Assessors today announced a new product, Pre Existing Edge Cover, designed for households whose furniture already has edges. This covers about all of them.
What is covered
- Shelves, ledges and mantelpieces
- Desks, side tables and window sills
- The top of the fridge, which has been under review for years
What is not covered
Edges that arise after the policy begins are not covered, since they are considered “new information”. Edges that are only imagined are also excluded, although we are aware that most edges begin this way.
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“We know that many households live with edges every day,” said Lord Fluffington Claims. “We want them to feel less alone. Also, we want their money.”
How to apply
Visit our office, or wait. We will come to you. We always do, usually through the cat flap.
Eligibility
To be eligible for Pre Existing Edge Cover, a household must have at least one edge on the premises. A household with no edges, such as a spherical home, may apply for a different product, the Round Cover, which does not exist yet but is under review.
Examples of covered events
A candle is nudged from a mantel and lands in a slipper. A jar of buttons is rolled from a desk and distributed across the hall. A houseplant is encouraged to the floor by a determined paw. In each case the household will be reimbursed according to the schedule, less the edge reduction.
Terms
The policy has a cooling off period of fourteen days, which the company considers to be an ample time for a cat to form an opinion. Premiums are payable monthly, weekly or in the form of a heavy sigh. The company reserves the right to alter these terms at any time, at three in the morning, from the top of a cupboard.
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