Every quarter our adjusters compile a list of items found beneath sofas during claim visits. The list is not an official finding, but it is printed on good paper and pinned to the office wall. This quarter was an unusually productive one.
Recovered items
- 14 hair ties, 3 of them still in use
- 6 pens, none of them working
- 2 remote controls, one of them for a television that was sold in the spring
- 41 bottle caps, arranged in a manner that suggests intent
- 1 sock, which we believe to be a witness
- A small wooden mouse, named Gerald, which was returned to the cat with an apology
Observations
Our adjusters note that the space beneath a sofa is the most reliable archive in the home. Everything that has ever fallen, rolled or been hidden eventually arrives there, and many of these items have been waiting for years. One adjuster found a birthday card dated 2019, addressed to a person who now lives in another city.
Method
Items are removed using a long ruler, a torch and a patient attitude. Each is photographed, logged and returned to the policyholder, other than anything alive. We have a firm rule that we do not touch anything that moves, since it is usually the cat.
Recommendations
We advise policyholders to clean beneath their sofas at least once a year, or to leave things as they are and enjoy the surprise. Either approach is covered.
Next quarter
Our adjusters will turn their attention to the space behind the fridge, which is rumoured to contain a coin, a cork and an unfinished conversation.
Thanks
We thank all policyholders who allowed our adjusters to lie on their carpets for the purposes of this survey. Your cooperation, and your biscuits, were noted by every member of the team.
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